I am really really scared to trust my heart again. I don’t want to make the same mistakes. I am so afraid to take risks now. I don’t want to hurt them. I don’t want to hurt myself either. Now, I feel like I am being a loser. Waaah!
I like this guy. Actually, I’ve liked him (but I didn’t care) I admire him. I adore him. But I don’t think I love him yet. Just looking at him from a far makes me glad. Suddenly of all bitterness in me, there’s this guy who made me feel ‘kilig”. Of course this feels good but I know deep inside, I am not ready for this. I am not ready to be rejected again. I never wanted unrequited love. I know he likes someone. And I am so afraid to know who the lucky girl is.
All I ever wanted was someone who could appreciate me, someone who would take care of me, someone who would make me laugh, someone I want to spend my time with, someone I want to give myself to, someone who would value my love for him, someone worth my tears. Please dear God, I need this someone now.
Yeah, yeah, I had someone like this before (at least I thought he was) but eventually, he just slipped away. I wasn’t able to grasp. I have too much love for him, but maybe it wasn’t just enough still. Too bad, this is how reality works. I accepted the fact that things will never be the same. The fact that nothing is left for us. I feel sorry because there’s nothing to fight for now. And he told me more than 10 times to move on. Maybe I am moving on.
Please po don’t let me fall in love with this guy if he won’t be mine. I am so selfish but I really can’t handle getting hurt too soon. I like him. Pwede bang hanggang dun na lang muna. Wag na muna love…leche Kacey bakit ba kasi hindi mo pinipili ang mga taong mamahalin mo…
I didn’t mean these things to happen. I, myself isn’t prepared. =(
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